Falling too fast. Changing everything about yourself to please your partner. Choosing partners who don’t treat you with respect.
These are common relationship patterns, and they can seriously hold people back from entering into a long, healthy relationship. Even if you are in a happy relationship, the fear of falling back into old patterns can hang over you like a storm cloud.
Simply acknowledging that you fall into these patterns is the first step to creating healthier habits. But there are many other steps to take before you can feel free from the chains of your past habits.
You know you have bad habits. But do you know where those habits began?
They didn’t start with your first serious relationship. They didn’t start with your first date. Most likely, bad relationship habits come from much earlier interactions with parents, friends, and other people in your life.
This theory is the basis of Imago Relationship Therapy.
Addressing your bad relationship habits means looking to the very first relationships in your life. When you asked for help as a child, did you ever feel ashamed? When you reached out for affection, were you ever denied? How could these early interactions have affected the way you approach romance and companionship?
Acknowledge the Discomfort
We resort to old habits out of discomfort or fear. We fear the unknown, as well as the results we experienced as a child. Moreover, we feel comfortable exhibiting the behaviors we know from the past – even if those behaviors have gotten us into trouble!