It’s okay to own it: having kids changes everything in a relationship. There is no shame in admitting this truth. In fact, ignoring it could lead to the gradual demise of your relationship.
It makes sense if you think about it. As your family expands, your time becomes divided. When this happens, your partner can begin to fade into the background — along with any intimacy you once had.
What’s challenging is that it’s often a slow and steady decline. Before you know it, you are struggling to understand how you got so disconnected from your partner. And most importantly, how to get back to where you once were.
One of the major keys in having a happier marriage and family is learning to set boundaries with your kids.
How Will Setting Boundaries with Your Kids Improve Your Relationship and Family Life?
As we become stretched in life, we often overlook simple truths that hold together the foundation of any good family. For example:
- Couples must recognize the unique challenges of getting enough sleep and intimacy when children are present during the night.
- When children always come first, everyone suffers — you, your relationship with your partner, and the children.
- Always siding with your child is the opposite of protecting your relationship’s boundaries.
- Having a good relationship with people outside your marriage is extremely important and helpful.
The short version: setting boundaries with your kids allows you the space to focus on other things in your life as well. Like your partner. Your job. Your friends and extended family.
And when you are able to do that, you become a happier and more fulfilled person. Which makes you more pleasant to be around and easier to deal with — two things your kids and partner will appreciate!
Plus, your children will learn the importance of self-care and that it is okay to take time for yourself and say no sometimes. And they will discover that there are more things they can do on their own than they realized.
Setting Boundaries with Kids Isn’t Easy, But It Is Important
The good news? That distance from your partner you might be feeling. It’s not a lack of love for most. You’re likely both just stretched too thin. And the path to fixing that starts with setting up boundaries.
This is something we cover in greater detail in our award-winning book Rock Solid Relationship: Seven Keys to Restore Your Connection and Make Your Love Last. This gentle guide puts your feelings in mind and takes you by the hand as you embark on a personal journey to improve your connection with yourself and your partner.