Make Valentine’s Day a time to reset your romantic climate. We feel loved when our partner shows us that we are thought of romantically. The mix of security and excitement is intoxicating.

We should be treating our partner romantically every day, but that doesn’t happen. It is normal to become lazy, resentful or hurt and to give up. You may think of the holiday as purely commercial. To some degree that may be true, but on the other hand any holiday is what we make of it. You can make it different for you and your partner.

Romance overtures need not be costly. What make a gesture romantic are the elements of surprise, effort, intimacy and thoughtfulness.


  1. Have a friend take picture of you holding a big Valentine greeting sign that says “I love you!” and post it on your sweetie’s Facebook page.
  2. Write a hand written love letter. Mail it to your partner’s place of work.
  3. Stay home to cook a romantic dinner together. Eat by candlelight and share appreciations. If you can’t take the kids to Grandma’s, then put them to bed and have a later meal, or special dessert.
  4. Make each other a “Thank You List” of the small gestures of romance and caring that you most enjoy.

A list can be as simple as:

  • When you hold my hand when we cross the street
  • When you bring me coffee
  • When you put your arm around me at the movies
  • When you invite me out for a date
  • When you ask me to go on an evening walk
  • When you send me a suggestive text
  • When you open the car door

Read the lists to your partner and commit to give one another the gift of least two things off the list each week. Don’t forget. Write it in your calendar to remind you. Do it whether your partner remembers to or not. They will reciprocate and when the love is flowing you will no longer care who went first! This will enrich your relationship and keep the spirit of Valentine’s Day throughout your year.