I recently came across yet another article about the sexless marriage by Camille Paglia.  As a Portland marriage counselor I am concerned at the rising need for a female Viagra and a culture that is highly sexualized by the media, but actually sex-starved at home.  Although a rather academic article (to read see link above) this author had some very interesting opinions about the impact of middle class values on sexuality. The author asks, “…to what extent do these complaints about sexual apathy reflect a medical reality, and how much do they actually emanate from the anxious, overachieving, white upper middle class?”

When I read that question something rang true. In my Portland marriage counseling practice I encounter couple’s difficulties with maintaining a happy sex life. In the hunt for a medical treatment for low female libido, of which the author says several companies are closing in, are we over looking how life style and priorities are affecting sex drive?

Don’t overlook the effect of stress, warns Portland marriage counselor

I suspect we do tend to overlook the effect stress and media messages have on libido. Tension from the pressure to succeed is not really an aphrodisiac. Hollywood no longer gives us impressions of sensuality as voluptuous and enticing. Instead we are exposed to graphic sexuality and unreasonably thin, buffed and flawless bodies. Is our sexual appetite waning because we are burnt out and desensitized to the real human form?

Ultimately if your relationship is suffering from a loss of intimacy, you could consider getting help and resources from a reputable source. Understanding what causes a problem is 50% of solving it. Don’t get stuck in the trend that Paglia calls “No sex please, we are middle-class”.  Don’t forget to check out what this Portland marriage counselor created in free resources for you.