Keeping Your Relationship Light in Dark Times
By now, most of us are coming to the realization that COVID-19 is not going away anytime soon. In addition to a pandemic, we in the West are grappling with raging fires. And many couples express fears about the upcoming election.
In other words, there is a whole heck of a lot to be stressed out about. Which can make having a healthy relationship tough.
Unfortunately, we are in this for the immediate future. But just as our state governments tell us that we will get through this together, couples need to work together to keep our relationships strong.
You are doing your best to protect the health of you and your loved ones. We want to help you protect the health of your bond.
How do you keep marriages healthy and happy? The sad truth is that we cannot fix most of the problems in life. In our current situation, the pressures on our lives and marriages are clearly outside of our control. What we can fix, however, is how we face those problems.
Couples must develop means of dealing with the stresses of life by sharing their feelings and needs and making it safe for their partner to share his or her feelings and needs.
That, and they need to laugh.
The Surprising Importance of Laughter and Humor in Staying Connected and Happy
You read that correctly. According to research, the strongest contributing factor for marital happiness is being able to laugh when things go wrong.
Because even in the darkest of times — humor is an excellent coping mechanism. Laughing releases oxytocin, the bonding hormone, which makes us feel closer. In these scary times, we all need to feel the security and peace that closeness brings to have a healthy relationship.
What Should You Be Laughing At… and What Should You Not?
The humor that makes a marriage happy includes laughter at jokes, funny situations, the kids’ and pets’ antics, and one another’s goofy behaviors. It also includes laughing at one another’s mistakes and imperfections.
Couples who can laugh when one of them reads the map wrong, drops the watermelon they brought to the picnic, or burps in public are also able to use humor to reduce the small stresses of life. These couples can also show appropriate humor in moments of greater stress in order to connect with their partner and subtlety reassure each other — it’s a way to say “we will make it through this.”
Just as individuals who are able to keep their sense of humor throughout the small and large disappointments of life, couples that can keep their sense of humor and make one another laugh during the ups and downs are more likely to be healthy and happy.
Just make sure that you are taking time to laugh with one another rather than at one another. If your partner feels that your humor is mean or at their expense, those benefits not only go out the window — it can make things worse.
The benefits are worth it, though. Because when we can laugh at our imperfections, our mistakes, and the frustration we have with ourselves rather than being angry and upset, it will go far in making us happy over a lifetime.
Online Therapy Sessions: Get Help Now
Both Tim and Norene have been offering online couple’s sessions for years. Rest assured, we’re experts at helping you set things up on your end.
It will be some time before you can safely attend in-person sessions, so we have created a system that will help you now. Not months from now when things in your relationship have exploded.
If you need individual help with anxiety or depression during this time, we can help with that, too.