Finding love can be hard. But keeping your love strong may be even harder.
That’s why we wrote our book Rock Solid Relationship: Seven Keys to Restore Your Connection and Make Your Love Last. It provides an in-depth look at how so many people who find love end up “losing” it, and what you can do to prevent this from happening.
In the book, we cover seven “keys” to maintaining your love for and connection to your partner over the long term. Over our next five blog posts – starting with this one – we are providing an overview of the first five of these keys.
We hope that the information will open your eyes to possibilities and whet your appetite to learn more. Because no one should have to find love only to watch as it fades away. And if you follow these keys, you won’t have to!
Ready? Let’s get started.
Key #1: Make Your Relationship the Priority
After the first blush of romance fades, it becomes difficult to make your relationship the priority in your life. It’s not that you don’t love one another anymore, but rather that life moves on.
Other priorities vie for your time, such as your career or children. Worse, when we finally do have a few minutes to ourselves, modern life has all kinds of ready distractions to throw at us. We look at Facebook rather than looking at our partner’s face.
This is akin to grabbing corn chips instead of cooking a wholesome meal. But just like corn chips, the pull of those types of distractions can be strong.
What can you do about it? Here are five suggestions:
Set aside 10 minutes a day to connect
No distractions: no kids, no heavy topics (this is a must), and no screens!
Check in with each other. What’s the best thing that happened in your day? The worst? Anything you are looking forward to?
Research shows that doing this for just 2 minutes improves a couple’s sense of connection. Imagine what 10 minutes could do.
Have a regular date night – weekly or twice a month
The more frequent, the better.
On your date, don’t speak about kids, finances, or problems. In other words, make it fun so you will look forward to doing it again.
Have sex regularly
Nothing says YOU are the priority so much as intimate touch.
Do some small caring acts daily
Small things like a romantic text, buying a favorite cookie, asking if you can help with tasks, giving a long hug, surprising them with a card in their briefcase… all these things show your partner your love.
Always greet your sweetie when you or they get home from being out
A welcoming smile and embrace demonstrate love. Dropping what you are doing to greet your partner says, “you are the most important thing to me.”