Is Your Partner on Your Schedule, Too?

Your schedule is packed with your work calls. Your kids’ Zoom classes. Household chores. But even if things seem packed incredibly tight, you need to make time for your spouse, too.


Because love is a verb. Relationships need nurturing. They need attention. They need time and space.

Far too often, we put our relationship on the back burner, especially when things get stressful. Because other things seem more pressing. And we know that our partner will understand. After all, you love each other, right?

You already know the answer. Even the most loving couples and the most understanding people start to feel neglected after a while. Frustrated. Disconnected.

And the more disconnected you become, the harder it is to claw your way back.

So, how exactly can you find time when it seems like there is no time? Put it on your schedule.

Book an Appointment to Maintain Your Love

No, “schedule” and “appointment” are not euphemisms.

When it seems like the time doesn’t exist, you have to make it exist by blocking it out. By literally carving out time for you and your partner to spend time together on whatever calendar or program you use to schedule your days and nights.

This may seem silly at first. Can literally scheduling time really make a difference?

Yes. Because if you don’t write it down and block it off on your schedule, other responsibilities will rob you of that time.

However, if you put it on your calendar and treat it like a real, unmalleable appointment, you will be forced to schedule around it. And when the “appointment” comes up, you’ll discover that — like magic — you really do have the time.

Now, you might have to get a bit creative if your time really is that packed. But it can still be done. 

For example, you can try:

Showering together. 

It saves time, water, and can help you connect! (Of course, there is the possibility that it might not end up saving time….)

Shopping online. 

Going out to stores right now is risky for many right now anyway. So you can skip the trip and order online. You can even get groceries delivered at a fairly minimal cost. And you can spend that extra time planning and shopping together.

Exercising together. 

Like showering, just sweatier! If you can, find something you can really participate in together. Bonus points if it gets you touching. Maybe a dance class where you tango together. Or a martial arts program where you spar. 

Getting the kids to bed 15 minutes earlier. 

If you’re like a lot of parents, you’ve probably experienced Pandemic Bedtime Creep, where your kids’ bedtimes have slowly gotten later and later, eating away at your time. Well, reverse that trend! It’s not only good for your relationship, but your kids, too.

Still struggling to make time for your spouse? Need help reconnecting? Norene Gonsiewski and Tim Higdon can help. Get in touch today.