How to Let Go of Unrealistic Expectations In Your Relationship

“And they all lived happily ever after…” 

We hear this in the stories that we read to our kids. We heard this ourselves when we were kids. It suggests that the couples in our fairytales overcame all obstacles and lived a perfect life afterward. No cares, no issues, no fights. 

Rationally, we know these books aren’t realistic. Unfortunately, even knowing this doesn’t stop them from giving us unrealistic relationship expectations. And it doesn’t help that we’re surrounded by other unrealistic depictions.

Couples we know that pretend “everything is fine.” Social media posts that only show others’ most happy moments.

This is not to say that you can’t be happy with your partner — or with your life. But expecting everything to be perfect all of the time will only set you up for disappointment. 

It’s Time to Let Go Of Unrealistic Relationship Expectations

This can be hard to hear, but it’s necessary. Unfortunately, no life is free of challenges. Everyone has to make choices and sacrifices. Even if you work hard in your career, relationship, or social life, things may still go awry. 

Think about the COVID-19 pandemic. Coronavirus did not appear because we “deserved it” or “didn’t work hard enough.” Things happen. Plans will change. Challenges will appear. 

It’s time to revise the way that you dream about the future and let go of unrealistic relationship expectations. 

Appreciate What You Can Overcome With Your Partner

There is a silver lining here. It’s not all doom and gloom. There is another way to look at the obstacles that you and your partner will face throughout the years. 

If you can get through the rough times, you can become the heroes of your own story. Focus your energy on reflecting rather than dreaming. Take things day by day. Were you able to get through today with a little bit of laughter? Did your communication improve today? Were you able to get out of bed? If so, you’re doing okay. 

A marriage counselor can help you let go of unrealistic expectations and come up with some that are actually achievable. Contact Norene Gonsiewski and Tim Higdon for coaching programs and other tools that can help you enjoy a more satisfying and happier relationship.