Forget Relationship Goals — Start Relationship Habits

There’s a good chance you’ve seen relationship goals in social media – possibly complete with a hashtag.

Wouldn’t it be nice if you could achieve this with your partner? Maybe you even feel like your relationship isn’t “enough” when reading idealized content such as this.

Well, here’s the reality. Relationship goals are a great idea in concept, but they can actually leave couples feeling inadequate, which is counterproductive.

Starting relationship habits is much healthier. Even better — they can be incorporated to improve any relationship!

Here’s the difference between the two.

Relationship Goals: A Case of the Shoulds

Shared goals are important for all couples, and the idea of relationship goals can be exciting. For example, you might make a goal to spend five hours of “us” time every week.

However, what sounds exciting at the outset can become a daunting task. This can lead couples to struggle with what they “should” be doing. 

This sense of what you “should” do or “should have” done often causes people to feel like failures, making the goal feel out of reach. This causes many couples to simply give up on whatever improvement they’re trying to make.

Turn Relationship Goals into Habits

Unlike a goal, a habit consists of small changes you can incorporate into everyday life. This both makes the change more sustainable over time and gives the couple a sense of accomplishment.

For example, if you’d like to increase intimacy, consider the small, everyday changes that could achieve this. You could, perhaps, make it a habit to pay more attention when your partner asks for emotional connection. This helps show your partner that you’re there to support them when they need it most.

More specific examples include things like:

  • Greeting your partner when they arrive home from work
  • Snuggling in bed together before going to sleep
  • Saying “I love you” at the end of a call, text, or email

All of these are little habits that can bring you closer — and the more you do them, the easier it will be to keep it going!

More Ways to Make Good Relationship Habits

Looking for more ways to build healthy relationship habits? If you feel that your relationship would benefit from the individualized attention of a relationship coach, reach out to us today — we provide virtual services to couples all over the country.