August Quick Tip: How to Get on the Same Page During This Stressful Time: The Weekly Dialogue Date

How to Get on the Same Page During This Stressful Time:
The Weekly Dialogue Date

We now know COVID-19 will be with us for the foreseeable future. Life is not predictable anymore. 

And the many ways we now have to juggle safety and security for our spouses, children, families, work, and finances is putting many relationships in peril.

Every day can add a new challenge. A new tough decision. These times call for much more effort to stay connected.

Too often couples take the stress out on each other without wanting to. Bickering and conflicts increase.

So, what can you do?

Have a weekly Dialogue Date! 

Once a week, check in with each other. Make it your mission to get on the same page. While external challenges may remain, you two can work to have each other’s back.

How to Deal with Ongoing Annoyances Without Starting a Fight

The Weekly Dialogue Date

Purpose:

Work to get on the same page, listen to understand each other, share appreciations, make requests, and connect.

 

Guidelines:

Set a consistent time once a week for 45-60 minutes.

This relationship habit will help each of you come prepared to be supportive of your relationship.

Start with an appreciation.

Most couples support each other and their families in countless ways. Developing your own partnership of fondness has to include noticing one anothers’ effort.

Start with a minor frustration.

Don’t go for the biggest issue you fight over. Have success dealing with some minor frustrations first. Take turns.

Listen to understand.

When listening, place your judgments and criticism aside and work to understand. Likewise, if you are sharing a frustration, refrain from blame or criticism. Focus on making a request. And be willing to modify it when your partner offers it.

Work towards a Win-Win.

And if that’s not possible, find a compromise. This reflects your intention that both of you have opinions, thoughts, and feelings that are valid.

Use the Intentional Dialogue as taught by Norene and Tim.

This technique supports being on the same page. If you have not learned this skill, here is a brief overview.

Allow each partner to take a turn. One partner raises an issue, and the other listens. No interruptions! If you experience the emotional temperature rising, table the issue until you cool down. 

Then have a re-do — and remember you are your partner’s teammate and they need your support.

For further assistance, read “Key 3: Communication is Key, So Dial Up the Dialogue” in our book, Rock Solid Relationship. You may also contact Norene or Tim for personalized guidance and counseling.

Get Quick Tips Via Email

We want to help couples like you to succeed at your relationship.

For more useful relationship info and encouragement, like us on Facebook and subscribe to this newsletter.

Online Therapy Sessions: Get Help Now

Both Tim and Norene have been offering online couple’s sessions for years. Rest assured, we’re experts at helping you set things up on your end.

It will be some time before you can safely attend in-person sessions, so we have created a system that will help you now. Not months from now when things in your relationship have exploded.

If you need individual help with anxiety or depression during this time, we can help with that, too.