Physical intimacy is not a comfortable topic to talk about, even with a committed partner. People of all ages still feel a lot of shameful feelings attached to intimacy.
Men carry a different stigma than women. Our society teaches men to perform at the top of their game, to take emotions out of everything, and to be the alpha dog. Unfortunately, these long-held attitudes can prevent men from opening up, and this openness is key to connecting with your partner on a physical level.
So men, let’s talk. Let’s briefly break down some of the things that could be holding you back, and what tools you can use to improve physical intimacy in your relationship.
What’s the Goal?
We are productive creatures. For every action we take, we want to move toward a goal. But this kind of attitude doesn’t work when it comes to intimacy.
Rethink why you are engaging in intimacy with your partner. To complete a job? Not so much. To grow closer with your partner and have fun? Now we’re getting somewhere.
When you start to engage in physical intimacy, let go of any “goals” or “tasks” that you have to achieve. Stay present. Be mindful of how you and your partner are feeling. Do what you can to enhance that experience and bring the two of you closer.
Communicate Away Impatience
Men and women frequently share similar frustrations when it comes to physical intimacy. One party wants to perform well for the other. Another partner doesn’t want the other partner to “wait” for them to “get into it.” The other partner may want to try something new, but is afraid to share this for fear of appearing silly or even shameful.
All three of these problems can be solved by one thing: communication. Communicate your needs before you engage in intimacy. Communicate during intimacy. Tell your partner what worked, what didn’t, and what you are thinking about trying next.
Part of the intimacy journey is bringing your partner into your inner world. That includes your fantasties, secrets, and other thoughts you would be scared to share with others.
Reach Out for Advice
For many couples, communication is the hardest part of physical intimacy.
Communicate with your partner. Tell them if you are looking for relationship help. An experienced relationship counselor can help to open up the lines of communication and get to the root of your physical intimacy issues. Reach out for more information.